Trailer Trash

Alright, another installation of shameless self-promotion. This is my latest video editing project: producing a fake movie trailer. We were given a bunch of raw footage from the movie Saturday Night Fever and challenged to transform it into a trailer promoting a completely different film. My submission? I present to you Becoming Father Vinnie.

My New Weekly Ritual

"I'm not stupid...I'm an idiot!"

This was recently quoted to me by one of my co-workers, and it's been banging around in my head all week long. He basically was commenting on how he didn't lack the mental fortitude to analyze information or situations and come to a rational conclusion (i.e. being "not stupid"), but rather lacked the moral fortitude to do the sensible thing with that information (i.e. being "an idiot"). He's going through some relationship issues which would make idiots out of most of us.

I think this is going to become my new mantra. Say it with me: "I'M NOT STUPID...I'M AN IDIOT!" Case in point, my new weekly ritual. For the past few weeks, I've been watching movies on Saturday nights. Well that's not so bad, you might say. Only "Saturday nights" are really "Sunday mornings". I've been staying up until 3 am watching "stupid" movies (Diane says they're "stupid". I say they're "stupid AWESOME").

I am a Dad, and Sundays are family day. It's the one day of the week where our family is able to spend the whole day together, yet I stay up until 3 am the morning before. That makes me an idiot. I don't care. It seems like that's the only time of the day where I get to watch what I want to watch. No Toon Disney. No Cartoon Network. And as long as it doesn't inhibit me from fully engaging in family day, I'm gonna keep doing it.

My new movie ritual began a couple of weeks ago with Braveheart. I think it was on Bravo, but what do I know; it was frickin' 2 o'clock in the morning. I was flipping through channels when I came across Mel Gibson rallying the Scotsmen for the first major battle scene of the movie. I've seen Braveheart hundreds of times, but I watched it anyway.

Last week's movie was The Dirty Dozen with Lee Marvin, Charles Bronson, Jim Brown, Telly Savalas, and a very young Donald Sutherland. And last night I watched Paul Newman's 1977 hockey classic, Slap Shot. It's been probably 20 years since I saw this movie, and it did not disappoint. Slap Shot isn't so much a hockey movie as it is a fighting movie. As the old saying goes, "I went to a fight and a hockey game broke out." That's Slap Shot in a nutshell. My favorite scene in the movie is when the nerdy trio of Hanson brothers finally get their chance to play and hit the ice for the first time. They are hell on ice, chucking guys into the boards, low-sticking the refs, and high-sticking their opponents. All three are ejected after a couple minutes of play and exit the ice to thunderous applause. I had to stifle my laughter for fear of waking up the house. I may be an idiot, but at least I'm considerate. That rhymes.

So here's the considerate idiot looking forward to next week's movie.

I'm An Idiot...And Lovin' Every Minute of It

One of the great things about being a parent is the opportunity to be an influence in the lives of your children. Notice I did not say "positive" influence. Whether I am a "positive" influence on the girls is open to interpretation. If you ask me if I think I'm a positive influence, then it's a big "hell, yeah!" My wife, on the other hand, may not be so quick to jump on that bandwagon.

One of the areas in which we are not so equally yoked is our taste in movies. I need to be diplomatic here because Diane reads my blog. Diane tends to be a little more selective in her cinematic tastes while I like to dine at the smorgasbord. If we're channel surfing and I see a black and white movie with a ridiculous-looking creature, or a dude in a cowboy hat, in uniform, or holding a samurai sword, or gunfire/explosions of any sort, I'll shout, "OOooh, what was that!" Diane just rolls her eyes, groans, and keeps on surfing. I'm particularly proud of my ability to identify a movie in the brief second or so it takes to surf by it: "That was Platoon...Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid...My Bloody Valentine...Meatballs II...Police Academy V..." More groaning and eye rolling.

Fortunately for us, we identified this difference relatively early in our relationship. I can remember one night we decided to have a movie night over at her place and she asked me what I'd like to see. "Have you ever seen Young Frankenstine? Oh it's hilarious...we have to get that one." Diane AND HER MOM went to about four different video stores to find the movie. They finally found it and we watched it together with Diane's parents and her sister. I busted a gut for an hour-and-a-half while they all sat there stone-faced wondering what the hell was wrong with me. Now that I think about it, it's a wonder they allowed me to marry their daughter.

Anyway, that was a long tangent simply to say that I'd like to have more of an influence on the girls by giving them a wider appreciation of the cinema. And I've had some success in this area. They are already big fans of The Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, and super hero movies, much to Diane's chagrin. This morning I pulled off a huge coup d'etat, although it may backfire and bite me in the butt. This morning I introduced the girls to a classic cinematic art form...the creature feature.

I was surfing through channels, and because Diane was at work, I stopped at all of those channels that looked promising because I was in control for a change. I came across AMC (that's American Movie Classics) and saw a black and white movie with two men sneaking around in the dark dressed in 50's style swimsuits. Who wouldn't stop channel-surfing for that! Then I saw it. The rubber, fakey-looking body suit; the fins; the gaping mouth...it was The Creature From the Black Lagoon! Score!! Of course, the girls came in at this time and wanted to watch it. I mean they REALLY wanted to watch it. I protested at first, but they BEGGED me to watch it. I was so proud. What else could I do? So I made cinnamon rolls and we snuggled up and watched one of the dumbest movies ever made. It was great!

What's also great is that I'm an incredibly sound sleeper. So I won't have to deal with the girls when they are awakened by nightmares in the middle of the night. Sorry, hon.