Monday, June 04, 2007

The Doctor is "In"

I'm not sure how this responsibility fell into my lap, but I'm rapidly becoming my work's resident counselor for relationship trouble. Guys seem to be coming out of the woodwork to pour their guts out about their women problems. I'm definitely not an expert in the field and I'm just as perplexed by the female psyche as the next guy, and I've told them as much. I guess I'm just willing to lend a listening ear, which is apparently what they need. I've been told more than once that they weren't necessarily looking for answers, just for someone to talk to. That works out well for me since I certainly DON'T have any answers to their problems, and though I have my opinions, I try keep them to myself. I don't want to mess things up any more than they already are. I can just see the aftermath of my advice: "Dude, thanks a lot. My marriage is OVER. You NEVER tell a woman what's REALLY on your mind. What were you THINKING? Why did I ever listen to YOU?" I can then see myself getting slapped with a lawsuit for practicing psychology without a licence. Perhaps I should steer clear of my new found calling as a counselor. Sorry boys, from now on the doctor is "Out". Unless, of course, you're willing to sign a waiver.


eshinee said...

You could always turn things back on them with their question rephrased as another question:

THEM: Should I tell her that I slept with her cousin?

YOU: Do you want to tell her that you slept with her cousin?

THEM: Don't you think she'd leave me?

YOU: Do you think she'd leave you?

THEM: No. We've been through a lot together and I guess we'll get through this too. Thanks, D!

See? Easy peasy. Though, in 40 Year Old Virgin, this ultimately led to an awkward jacuzzi scene. But, barring on-the-job access to a jacuzzi, you should be safe.

the battered ham said...

You are truly amazing. You should write a book..."Counseling for Idiots". I'd buy.