Showing posts with label sarcasm. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sarcasm. Show all posts

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Nioxin...Does it Work?

About a month ago, I began experimenting with Nioxin when it was presented to me by my color technician sister-in-law. Shortly after making this public confession, I was encouraged by Beast Mom to take before/after pictures to show the progress. I was sceptical that the stuff would even work, but after a month of use, I believe there is a noticeable difference. So without further ado, I present to you the before/after effects of Nioxin, and you can be the judge. I'll address the side effects later.


First, my hairline before Nioxin. This picture was taken on Kailey's birthday, roughly two weeks before I started the daily Nioxin regimen:








OK. Now the after pic, roughly five weeks later. Thoughts?






As you can see, the runoff from my original application thickened my eybrows as well as darkened my skin, but I can deal with those side effects because I can definitely perceive a thickening effect in my hair. Highlights too!! Nioxin is amazing and I give it my wholehearted endorsement!

Thursday, March 15, 2007

My New Life Calling

This experience with the broken water main has opened up a whole new realm of possibilities for me, and I now know what I want to do with the second half of my life. I'm going to become a master plumber. Not a mere plumber or a plumber's assistant, because those guys really have to work their butts off. They're the ones who get stuck with the crap jobs, spending hours digging trenches, cutting out dry wall, or plunging turd-filled toilets. Blech! They do all the dirty grunt work getting the site prepped, but then the master plumber comes swooping in to save the day and hog all the glory! He, or she, is the one who can make the connection. They cut out the old pipe and solder in the new. When the master plumber finishes the job, leaks stop dead in their tracks, toilets flush, and faucets flow with crystal clear, life-sustaining water. And they make a butt-load of money. Oh, and they show up on the job whenever they want, which is OK because once they finish the job, the clients are so thankful to have flushing toilets and flowing water that they forget how pissed they were over how long it took for the job to get done in the first place. Being a master plumber is the bomb. I'm not even going to mess around being an apprentice. I'm going straight to the top, 'cause that's where it's at! Master Plumbers...their crap don't stink!

Thursday, March 08, 2007

...And Into the Fire

It's been one week and $750 since we first discovered the leak/break/rupture in our water main, and we are not much closer to having it fixed. Diane arranged for a plumber to come out early Monday morning, and she was assured that he would be able to locate the break, dig it up, and fix it that day. I met him at the house at 8:00 am, briefed him on the situtation, and he went to work. Most of his work entailed head-scratching. He'd never seen a set-up like ours and told us we needed to hire a leak detection business to locate the leak. That'll be $140 please.

I called the leak detectors, whom up until Monday morning I never knew existed, and arranged an appointment for Tuesday afternoon. He came out and spent the first 15 minutes scratching his head: he'd never seen a set-up like ours. I was beginning to notice a theme. He finally hooked up his contraption through our water heater where he forced air through our plumbing system. He then went through a process of turning the air on and turning the air off, followed by turning the the water on and turning the water off, interspersed with times of plopping down what can only be described as a giant stethoscope on the ground and listening for bubbling sounds. This process went on for the better part of an hour. The problem was that he was looking for the logical route that the water line should take. He eventually deviated from that route and quickly detected the leak...under the sidewalk at the foot of our driveway. He created a duct tape "X" at the site of the breach. That'll be $275 dollars please.

I still didn't know the route of the main line or the definitive point at which it tied into the house. So Wednesday morning the plumbers returned, two of them this time, the owner and his son, and traced the line. They disconnected the water main at the water meter and fed fishing wire into the main until it stopped. They then used a metal detector to trace the line. Their findings left all three of us scratching our heads: we'd never seen anything like this before. The line tied in near the northeast corner of the house. The main shutoff valve is located in the garage on the southwest side of the house. The water meter is located on the northeast corner of our property and there is a three-car driveway separating the water meter and the tie-in point. You can see where this is going.

The pipe used for the main line is a blue, plyable polyeurothane that has since been outlawed due to its propensity towards leakage. That coupled with the fact that the break was buried under 6 to 8 inches of concrete left leak repair out of the question. The whole line needs to be replaced. I asked the plumbers to write up an estimate. For some reason, hmmmm, they were reluctant to run a new line along the west side of the house and tie into the main shut-off at the back of the garage. They thought the best thing to do would be to tie into the original location on the northeast corner of the house. This meant cutting through 28 feet of driveway concrete. Estimate: $3100. I told them I had their number. Oh, and by the way, that'll be $237 for today's visit. I'm in the wrong line of work.

I jumped on the phone and began calling other plumbing companies to come out and submit estimates on the job. The first came out this morning, and, after being shown all of the details, was quick to tell us that his company had done a lot of work in our neighborhood, but he had never seen a set-up like ours before. Thankfully, he had no problem suggesting running a line up the west side of the house. Estimate: $1320...free of charge. I never thought I'd be so relieved to spend $1300 on plumbing in all my life. So hopefully we'll have water early next week. We'll see.

Friday, January 05, 2007

Why Do I Even Bother?

They say the road to hell is paved with good intentions. I'm building a super-freeway. It's really great...as of now it has ten lanes, all one-way, of course, so there's room for everyone. As I get older, I'll just keep adding lanes so there will be no traffic jams, just free-flowing traffic straight to hell.

I recently read my list of "resolutions" for 2006. They were truly inspiring and not overly-ambitious. I categorized several of areas in my life in which I desired improvement, things like family, work, finances, etc, and I listed one or two goals under each category. It was awesome. 2006 was going to be the best year ever. Except I accomplished exactly none of my goals. Oops.

So this year I am again tempted to resurrect the list. But why? Why should I torture myself again? Why should I waste my time? Because, dear reader, that's what I do best. So here I go again, putting together my list of resolutions and goals for 2007. I'll keep you posted on the progress. Like you care.

 

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