Saturday, January 05, 2008

Those Aren't Pillows!

Every couple of months it seems like I'm buying new pillows. I'm a side-sleeper, so I need firm, fluffy pillows to support my huge, virtual planetoid head, complete with its own weather system. Actually, my head's not all that large, but it must be fairly dense (you know, with all those brains packed in there) because it flattens out those firm, fluffy pillows in a matter of weeks. Granted, I don't spend a lot of money on my pillows, usually opting for Target's $9.99 Extra Firms, so I guess I can't really expect that much out of them. I have forked out as much as $20 at Kohl's with the hope that their slightly more expensive pillows would last longer, but, sadly, they don't. I keep telling myself to bite the bullet and drop a healthy sum of cash on some more expensive, quality pillows, but I just can't. I can't shake the sneaking suspicion that spending $100 on pillows will yield the same results.

My body tells me when it's time to retire the old pillows, like I can't tell by looking at their flat, lumpy mass that they are mere shells of their former selves. Pillow wanna-be's. Maybe I'm not that smart after all. Just cheap. The first hint usually comes from my lower back, but this week it was my neck. I first noticed the pain on Monday while installing the garage door opener. Naturally, I ignored the warning signs and popped ibuprofen religiously until Wednesday night, when every movement nearly sent me through the roof and I didn't sleep a wink. On Thursday morning I made a Target run.

I've heard insanity defined as "doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results". Well I'm not insane. I don't expect my Target pillows to be a long-term solution to my neck and back problems. I just want immediate short-term relief. I made a beeline to the pillow isle where I quickly located their Extra Firm pillows. I decided to browse a little to see if their inventory had changed since I last picked up pillows. I was surprised to find something like a Super-Ultimate-Premium-Non-Allergenic-Extra-Firm pillow for $14.99. Sold. I grabbed two and headed up to the checkout isle.

In order for the body pain modification system to work, I need two pillows (man, it sucks getting old). One, as I mentioned earlier, is for head and neck support, the other is for body support. I have to "hug" pillow #2 like Radar O'Reilly's teddy bear in order to keep my body fully on its side, not allowing me to slump over toward my stomach. If I do, I'm in for a bad day.

Well, my temporary fix worked. I've experienced two nights of peaceful slumber since Thursday night and my neck pain is subsiding. For now. Now I need to get my butt in gear and do some research on some quality pillows so I can avoid this fiasco in the future. Any suggestions?


Muddleman said...

I have had the same problem for years. Recently I noticed that I actually preferred fancy "hotel" pillows, and realized that they were made with "fake down." I dropped about $35 on one at Bed Bath and Beyond maybe six to nine months ago, and it has been almost perfect. In fact, my kids have threatened to steal it.

Since its made of "fake down" (whatever that is), you can sort of shake it back into place every once in a while, to fill-in the divot, so to speak.

the battered ham said...

That sounds like exactly what I need. I'll check it out. Thanks!