The Big One

I've always taken a certain measure of pride in the fact that I wed an older woman. There's a mystique to the older woman, a sexiness, a hotness, and an added layer of difficulty to the hunt. You see, I think it's fairly easy for an older man to score a younger bride, but you've really got to amp up your game to bag an older one. They're wiser. They know our tricks. And we'd better be pretty frickin' special if they're going to pass up their sugar daddy for us. Well I did it and I'm proud.

I also happen to be talking completely though my anus because we were stupid frickin' kids when we met and started dating, and our difference in age is a mere six months. But tomorrow that six month age difference will magically transform into a seemingly bottomless chasm as my bride ceases to be a 30-something. Yes, tomorrow is Diane's birthday, and it's a big'un. Tomorrow my bride turns 40.

FORTY.

4.0.

But that doesn't distress me at all. I, as a younger husband, think it's HOT. I get to sleep with a 40 year-old woman! What really bothers me is the knowledge that MY 40th is only six months away. Then I'll probably cry.

Saddlesore Surprise

Yesterday was Kailey's 9th birthday (last year of single digits, Kiddo), and Diane came up with a great idea. She made some reservations and told the girls to get ready for a surprise. Their only hint she gave them was the clothing they had to wear, which should have been an obvious tip-off: jeans, their cowgirl boots, and cowgirl hats. Let's just say that the girls aren't very good guessers.

Kyra's contribution: "Where are we going? Jeans-R-Us?"

I looked up at Diane and shrugged, "Well now what are we gonna do? She guessed it!"

Kailey's guess, as Diane slathered her in sunscreen, was "We're going over to Grammy and Papa's house and hanging out in their backyard." She clearly doesn't have a firm grasp of the concept of "surprise", which made the surprise all the more special.

There is a horse stable a couple of miles up the road on the way to my in-law's house. We've driven by it roughly a hundred thousand times in the four years we've lived in Tucson. Yesterday, we pulled in. And the girls freaked.



Now THAT'S a SURPRISE. Diane's folks met us there, though her mom didn't stay to ride. We signed the release forms, fitted the girls with riding helmets, and mounted up for the trail ride. Kailey was up first and was matched with a horse named Rooster, though he should have been named Turtle (he was slow), or Turkey (that's what he acted like, giving Kailey some problems on the trail).



Kyra was next and her horse was Sardine. He too gave her problems. I think both of the horses knew they had inexperienced riders and just dared the girls to take control of them. One of the wranglers eventually gave Kyra a stick to use as a switch to keep Sardine from stopping too much.



Papa climbed aboard Big Boy, Diane was matched with Geronimo, and I was destined to wander through the desert on a horse with no name. Kidding. My horse was named Major...or "Major Pain" as the wranglers called him while I threw my leg across the saddle. They weren't kidding. As soon as they led him into the line for the ride, he began nipping at the butts of the other horses, which would make him a "Major Pain in the Butt". I think he was testing me and eventually behaved as I continually pulled back on his reigns.



It was a beautiful Spring day for a ride; sunny, but not too hot with temps in the low 80's. We were out for about an hour, which was just about right. Any longer and I probably wouldn't be able to sit today.




The girls had a great time despite their cantankerous mounts, and Kailey proclaimed the experience as "the best birthday ever!" I'm glad, Sweetie.

Birthday Girl

Seven years have gone by way too fast. You came as a little bit of a surprise to Mommy and me. It took what seemed like forever for Mommy to get pregnant with your sister, and yet before Kailey even celebrated her first birthday, we learned that you were on your way. We weren't disappointed. In fact, we experienced a mixture of relief and gratitude as we realized we wouldn't have to wait years before having another baby. You were born on a Friday, the day after Thanksgiving, the ultimate reason for giving thanks. I can still remember your weary eyes staring into the face of your Mommy for the very first time. And it seemed like only yesterday.

Now, you're riding bikes, reading books, swimming like a fish, hitting the ball like Ichiro, and singing like a rock star. You have an inquisitive nature, an unquenchable hunger for knowledge, and a sweetness and sensitivity that I pray never goes away. And you have a laugh that fills my heart to the point where at times I think it might explode. I am so proud of you and hope that you have the best birthday ever.

Happy Birthday, Kyra-girl.

Just a Case of Pre-Concert Jitters

The past month has been all-Hannah, all the time. Hannah Montana for Halloween, Hannah Montana in concert, and now Hannah Montana...the birthday party. Kyra turns 7 this weekend, and yes, she has chosen Hannah Montana as the theme for her party, which we'll be having at the house, complete with a guitar piñata (I just want you to know...it took me at least ten frickin' minutes to figure out how to put that frickin' tilde over that frickin' "n"). Let me just say that in this season of thanks, I will be thankful to give Hannah Montana a rest for a good, long time.

A few weeks back Kyra decided that for her birthday party she would like to perform a Hannah Montana song. And she wanted me to accompany her on guitar. Does it sound to you like I have an ambitious Miley Cyrus-like performer in the making? Hey, if she can make us some Miley-like money, I say go for it! I'll even pay for the future therapy! After a thorough review of Miley's latest CD, Kyra selected I Miss You, a song about losing a loved one. And she wanted to dedicate it to her great grandpa who passed away just before Christmas last year. I love it when her sweet side shines through.

So I had a song to learn. I went online to try to find lyrics and a chord chart for the song. The chord charts I found were complete crap and I sometimes wonder if the doofuses uploading them are listening to the same song. Like the saying goes, if you want something done right, you gotta do it yourself. So I did. Since then I've listened to the song a million times just to get the tune down and to practice with Kyra.

Tonight we practiced without the CD for the first time, and I think Kyra was a little shocked, like walking the tight rope without the safety net. We ran through it a couple of times and when we were done, Kyra looked depressed. "My voice doesn't sound right," she pouted.

I laughed. "Yeah, your voice sounds a little different when Miley's not singing along, huh?"

"It sounds all...scratchy."

In reality, it sounded fine...like a soon-to-be 7 year-old singing a Miley Cyrus song. I think she's just getting a little anxious about her performance and I'm beginning to see signs of perfectionism sprouting in my youngest daughter. Hmmm...I wonder where she gets that from.

Post Concert Wrap Up

Concert posters were made, paraphernalia was purchased in mass quantities, hearing was lost, voices were screamed and sung hoarse, and a good time was had by all at the Jonas Brothers/Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus concert at Jobing.com arena in Glendale. I knew the girls would love it, but was genuinely surprised when Diane reported that it was a really good concert. Who knew? A pictorial review:



Hannah did indeed rock. Both of the girls made posters to display during the concert. I forgot to ask them if they were able to take them into the arena.



As official Hannah Montana fan club members, Kailey & Kyra had an opportunity to win raffle tickets for an official tour of Miley's party bus. They arrived too late to participate.



The Jonas Brothers were the opening act. I didn't hear too much about these guys...



...but this is a shot of Kailey during their set. Look at her eyes, all glossed over and dreamy-looking. I was surprised she didn't come home with a Jonas Brothers poster for the wall of her room. She did, however, choose the hot pink Jonas Brothers T-shirt over Hannah Montana.

The girls called me at work during the intermission, and they were hyped. It made me sad to miss that experience with them. Kailey kept going on about how loud it was in the arena. "The Jonas Brothers came out, and all the girls were screaming at the top of their lungs," she gushed. "I had to cover my ears!" OK, now I was less sad to miss the experience of ten thousand girls screaming at the top of their lungs.

"I could feel my heart beating in my chest!" Kyra reported, trying to explain the feeling of bass pulses reverberating inside her chest. I laughed, knowing exactly what she was talking about, and then felt sad again.



(Revision: I thought I'd better add a little more about The Jonas Brothers since I've been receiving about a million hits from a JB fan site. I polled the girls and they said that the Jonas Brothers were "awesome". Cool? Oh, and here's another JB pic for your enjoyment.)



Hannah/Miley's stage set up.



Miley did a couple of different sets, first as Hannah Montana followed by a set as herself. After all, she's going to need to establish her own identity as an artist. She can't be Hannah Montana when she's 30. Right?



She also had about 350 costume changes, because you just simply can't wear the same outfit for two hours.



Kyra singing along and having the time of her life. And who's freaky stalker-looking dude in the background? Mind yer own BEESwax, dude! I'll have to edit him out of the picture.



Here Miley's doing what I think is a solo acoustic set, if I remember the report correctly, which further impressed Diane. The concert wasn't a simply choreographed lip-synch show. Miley is a very talented young lady.



Here the girls are pulling Grammy away from the Beer, Wine & Spirits stand...again! Kidding. I just think this is a hilarious backdrop for a "family" photo.



They spent the night in Chandler and finished off their trip with, what else, a little shopping! They made it home safe and sound Saturday night, and I'm glad to have them back. By the way, I had the house to myself on Friday night and didn't do ONE load of laundry.

Halloween Prep

Well, I think we're officially ready for Halloween. The costumes are set, the candy's been purchased and tested for quality control, and we (by "we" I mean "I") finally carved the pumpkin tonight. We picked up one of those new-fangled pumpkin carving kits at the store today. Gone are the simplistic days of opening a pumpkin up with a steak knife, scooping out its guts with a soup spoon, and then slicing out a gap-toothed grin along with some randomly spaced triangles for eyes and nose, because, let's face it, trying to carve circular eyes with a steak knife is close to frickin' impossible. This kit was amazing: two carving "saws", a plastic scraper, a marker (they even give you your own marker!), and a book of stencils. Of course, the girls picked "The Witch", probably the hardest one in the book to do. It came out alright, although my right hand is now cramping up due to all of the detail work. But, hey, it's for the kids.

I enlisted the girls help in scooping out the pumpkin guts. They were a little skittish at first, but finally conceded. Kailey went first, taking a small hand full and chucking it into the garbage can. "OH, THAT'S DISGUSTING!!" she shrieked. Kyra took her turn, and when Kailey got into position we noticed she was looking a little pale. "It stinks," she gagged, then ran over to the sink. Thankfully she held it together, but her pumpkin-gut-chucking time had clearly come to an end. I finished the project from there on out.

Yesterday, Diane had the great idea of baking and decorating Halloween cut-out cookies, forgetting the slightly expanded attention spans of 6 and 8 year olds. The girls were really excited about the project. They got out pens and paper, wrote down all the ingredients they would need, and accompanied Diane to the store. On the way home, they saw their new friend from school riding her bike. "Can we go ride our bikes with Hope?" they asked.

"We just picked up all this stuff to make cookies!"

"Hey, I have an idea," offered Kyra. "YOU make the cookies and then SURPRISE us when we come in from riding our bikes."

So Diane spent yesterday afternoon baking cookies alone while the girls played outside. This afternoon they weren't able to flake out on the project and all of us decorated the cookies that Diane so painstakingly baked.

So I think we're ready. A day early! Bring on the trick-r-treaters!

ARE. YOU. KIDDING. ME.

I - L- L !

Illinois continued it's trend of upsetting ranked opponents by beating #5 Wisconsin 31-26, which means the Illini might quite possibly be the real deal this year. I about fell out of my chair when I saw the final score on ESPN.com (a Disney company). I heard all of the pregame hype where the "experts" predicted an upset, but I wouldn't allow myself to believe it (the way I believed their hype about the Cubs over the D'backs. Fool me once...). It's about time. Keep it up Orange & Blue!

OSKEE-WOW-WOW!!

Che-he! Che-ha! Che-ha-ha-ha!
Go Illini, Go!
Che-he! Che-ha! Che-ha-ha-ha!
Go Illini, Go!
Illinois! Illinois! Illinois!

Illinois upset #21 Penn State today and is 4-1 on the season, 2-0 in the Big Ten. I think Illinois had only won 4 games the past three seasons. To say that I'm happy is an understatement.

Oh yeah, and in case you haven't heard, the Cubs are in the playoffs. I'm shuttin' up now.

Back to School

No, I'm not talking about Back to School sales or getting ready for Back to School or even the Rodney Dangerfield movie, Back to School...this morning, the girls are officially Back IN School. WOOHOO!

Their school district functions on more of a year-round schedule, which I think makes sense here in Southern AZ. Who needs a 12 week summer vacation in 104 degree heat? The girls enjoy a six week summer vacation, then three weeks in early October, two weeks at Christmas, and three weeks in the spring. Vacation time is spread throughout the year and it's nice to be free to take take some vacation time outside of summer.

So this morning we (and by "we" I mean Diane) shook the girls awake a little after 6:00 to begin the morning routine. Kailey and Kyra love school, so today wasn't much of a problem getting them motivated. They were excited about their new classes, new teachers, and reuniting with old friends. Kyra cracked me up with a happy little High School Musical-esque ditty she made up: "I can't believe I'm going to school today..." They put on their new school clothes, packed their new backpacks, posed for the obligatory first-day-of-school photo op, and then we were on our way.

The first day of school is a madhouse. EVERY parent feels the need to accompany their child INTO school. The parking lot is overflowing as are the streets, so we decided to walk the girls to school to avoid the clutter. This year was no different and we were glad we abandoned the cars at home. We walked Kailey to her section of the school and I was fully prepared to drop her off at the gate when we noticed parents walking their 8, 9, 10, and 11 year-olds into the playground. So we followed suit. Kailey was fine on her own, though, as I knew she would be, and she soon left us behind. We waved goodbye, then twisted our way through the maddening crowd of harried parents and children toward Kyra's classroom.

I was surprised to see that the side of the school that housed the younger grade classrooms seemed to have fewer parents and less craziness than the older side. Perhaps that was because everyone was standing around waiting for the bell to ring. Anyway, we met Kyra's teacher (who was Kailey's first grade teacher), talked to her for a moment, gave Kyra a hug goodbye, and skipped our way off of the school grounds. FREEDOM!!

So what did we do with our newfound freedom? Diane and I went on a brisk walk around the neighborhood, came home, flipped on Regis & Kelly and promptly fell asleep. Oh well, we have the rest of the school year to be productive.

Thirty-Nine and Lookin' Fine

Today begins the final year of Diane's thirties. Where did the time go? On this date seventeen years ago, I nervously knelt on one knee and asked her to spend the rest of her life with me (scary thought), and she agreed. I guess she thought she had nothing better to do for the rest of her life. So here we are, seven cities, five states, five apartments, two townhouses, one house, five cars, two cats, one fish, and two kids later. It's been quite the ride. And although it hasn't always been easy, together we have always been able to make fun of our life situations enough to keep our sanity. Laughter sometimes is the best medicine.

So to my hot, strong, sweet, caring, and giving wife with the best belly-laugh in the world (yes, I am looking for some late-night action): here's to many more years of memories and laughter together. Happy Birthday, Hon. You're the best.

Hey Now, You're an All Star

Kailey's Blue (Balls) Bandit softball season came to an end last night with a loss against their league arch-rivals, Lightning. The game was a meaningless one as Lightning already eliminated the Bandits from the playoffs. Only one team from each league can enter the city-wide playoffs, and Lightening earned that spot outright by beating the Bandits in their regular season meetings. Kailey had a good game offensively, going 2-3 at the plate with no strike outs.

The good news of the night was that Kailey's softball season was extended when we learned that she was selected for her league's All Star Team. Way to go, Kailey! So now, she'll be practicing with her All Star Team in preparation for a tournament at the end of June. And it sounds like the tournament is a pretty big deal, with opening ceremonies, special tournament programs, All Star uniforms, and All Star team support shirts, all for a price, of course. Still, it sounds like it should be an exciting time, and Kailey is pumped. I'm going to take a couple of days off from work so I can attend the whole tournament. I must be nuts. Taking time off from work to attend a softball tournament in the southern Arizona summer heat? I can't wait.