Thankful

Hope you're having a Happy Thanksgiving. This year I'm stuck at work. Again. Television stops for no one. Yes, it stinks not to be able to spend the day with my family, but I'm kind of used to it. 'Tis the nature of the beast. At least I'm making double time-and-a-half for my work today, and for that, I'm thankful. We've got Christmas to think about after all.

I'm also tired. Kailey came down with some sort of virus or food poisoning last night and spent the night puking her guts up. Poor thing. Of all the days of the year to come down with a stomach virus. So her Thanksgiving feast will most likely consist of Sprite and Saltines. Thank goodness for leftovers.

I haven't felt all that thankful this past year, and I don't know why. Thankfulness used to come pretty easily to me, but recently it seems to have been replaced by uglier attributes such as bitterness, selfishness, anger, and greed. I have plenty for which to be thankful: a beautiful, loving and supportive wife; two healthy, smart and talented children; a roof over our heads (and a very nice roof at that); and a job that allows me to support my family. I think that's part of my disconnect. I have a job, but it's not a job that I really want. Yes, it helps to pay our bills and put food on the table, but doesn't come close to offering personal fulfillment.

I think we become bitter and selfish and angry when we focus on the things we don't have as opposed to being grateful for the things we do. When we don't have the great job, when we don't have the perfect car, or when we don't have the 50" HDTV with BluRay, DVR and 5.1 surround sound. Man, I really hate that I'm writing this, but I'm guilty of all three. It makes me sound vapid and petty, but it's true. And I hate it.

So here I sit, alone with my thoughts in this room at work, and I know that something's got to change. I don't want to be that person hell-bent on material things. Not that material things are bad. It's just that they will never be enough. If I get the right job, the cool car, and 50" HDTV with BluRay, DVR and 5.1 surround sound, I will then want a new guitar, a Power Mac, a professional grade video camera, new bedroom furniture, a kitchen remodel, and a monkey. Again, vapid and petty, but true.

Now that we are entering the Holiday Season, I'm going to choose to be grateful for the things I have and not the things I don't. And for any family members who are reading this, you now have my Christmas list.